Yesterday Wisconsin governor Scott Walker became the 15th person to declare his candidacy for the Republican presidential nomination and that means that every act of his political life will get shredded like grinder lettuce. To that end, Buzzfeed unearthed a proposal introduced by Walker and a host of other members of the Wisconsin state assembly that tried to define what is and is not a sandwich—the grinder totally counts by the way.
Now, the purpose of the bill (which did not become law) was to give tax-exempt status to foods packaged in a certain way, but everyone knows the most important language in the proposal was the definition of sandwich that Walker signed on to. With the election just a short 483 days away, let’s to take a look at Sandwich-gate and what exactly Scott Walker does not consider sandwich-worthy.
Ice cream sandwich
© Dennis Prescott
According to the language in the bill, sandwiches are filled with “meat, cheese or a savory mixture.” The act also says desserts or anything sold frozen cannot get sandwich designation. I will now go eat one of these in protest.
© Veronica Meewes
We’re inclined to agree here; tacos are not sandwiches. But the bill singles the tortilla-wrapped creations, as well as enchiladas and chimichangas as not worthy of recognition. However, it says things wrapped in pitas are sandwiches. What, I ask you, is pita bread if not just a very thick tortilla?
© Ethan Covey / ethancovey.com
New York’s newest food hybrid is doubly banned from sandwich-dom. The bill excludes burritos right next to its disqualification of tacos. It also seems to only consider bread products as suitable sandwich containment devices—rolls, croissants and, thankfully, bagels. Nori, however, did not make the cut. Although this bill came to the floor in 1997 and, as someone who lived in Madison, Wisconsin in 1997, the sushi scene there was not exactly hot yet.
© Ngoc Minh Ngo
Canapés and hors d’oeuvres are a big no-no under the Walker sandwich definition and that means cute bites like this are out.
It’s just a good thing ramen burgers weren’t around when this came to floor of the assembly. Walker would have had a real problem on his hands.
[h/t First We Feast]