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Mike Pomranz
June 22, 2017

As Rupert Holmes once famously sang, “If you like piña coladas, and getting caught in the rain, then maybe I can excite you, with some piña colada-flavored cheddar cheese?” Actually, that doesn’t sound right, but I don’t think anyone really knows how that song goes after the piña colada part.

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As reported by multiple sources on Twitter, German-based discount grocery chain Aldi has recently been offering up Piña Colada Cheddar Cheese – “infused with natural and artificial pineapple and coconut flavor” – via its store brand Happy Farms. Sounds like maybe these farmers got a little too “happy” and spilled their drinks into the pasteurizer.

Yesterday, Twitter user @TheLincoln posted a promotional pic of the bizarre cheese, grabbing social media’s attention and leading one follower to state, “my local Aldi still has a full case of this in their cheese display. It is um... not popular.” Last week, user @BravesLove even posted a photo of the cheeses caught in the wild.

Of course, pineapple cream cheese is downright popular, but you don’t need me to tell you that pineapple is a distinctly different flavor from piña colada. And more importantly, cream cheese is a vastly different product than cheddar. Though the festive drink might pair fine with a cheese plate, I don’t think many people would consider throwing a brick of sharp cheddar into the blender right after the ice.

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So, okay, Piña Colada Cheddar probably doesn’t float your boat. Don’t worry: Aldi is also selling Tequila Lime Cheddar Cheese. Seriously, instead of “Happy Farms,” you may want to start buying your dairy from “Emotionally Stable Farms.”

[h/t Grub Street]

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