The Definitive Ranking Of Easter Chocolate
Easter traditions are many: Egg hunts, brunches, terrified children with adults in rabbit suits. But the most important, even for us adults, is candy. Easter candy comes second only to Halloween in terms of sweet treats and we here at FWx take our refined sugar very seriously. So we got a hold of just about every Easter candy from giants Hershey and Russel Stover and put them to the test to see what belongs in the Easter basket and what belongs in the waste basket. Here, the rankings from the rigorous analysis we undertook right before collapsing into a sugar coma.
18. Russell Stover Whip Eggs (all of them)
These come in three flavors: Mango, pineapple and key lime. This is a real E for Effort sort of situation, both in terms of their use of atypical Easter candy flavors and in the sense that E comes below D on the grading scale.
17. Russell Stover Cookies and Cream Bunny
Cookies and cream should be left where it belongs. In the ice cream aisle.
16. Russell Stover Peanut Butter Bunny
Sorry bunny. The peanut butter in here was a bit gritty for us.
15. Hershey’s Carrot Cake Kisses
A valiant effort at once again reinventing the Hershey’s Kiss, but these taste mostly like frosting.
14. Russell Stover Milk Chocolate Bunny
There’s something satisfying about biting the head of a life size chocolate bunny.
13. Cadbury Chocolate Mini Eggs
Always a solid middle of the pack Easter basket addition. If only they were easier to unwrap.
12. Reese’s Peanut Butter Bunny
Now this is a peanut butter-filled bunny we can get behind. It’s just a bit too big and unwieldy.
11. Russell Stover Marshmallow Egg
For the love of Easter bunnies eat these fresh. There is nothing worse than a stale Easter marshmallow (we’re looking at you Peeps)
10. Russell Stover Caramel Egg
These aren’t as messy as a certain other filled chocolate egg, but otherwise they don’t quite match up.
9. Reese’s Peanut Butter Egg- Yellow
The problem here is not with the flavor. It’s with the appearance. The shade of yellow that encases the peanut butter is a bit…well, pukey looking.
8. Cadbury Mini Eggs
Troubling easy to eat by the handful.
7. Reese’s Peanut Butter Egg - Milk Chocolate
Again, the perfection of a Reese’s Peanut Butter Cup is hampered by an unfortunate resemblance to the results of a regular bodily function. Peanut butter eggs look like they came off the same assembly line as peanut butter trees.
6. Hershey’s Snapsy Bunny
It is a bit morbid to snap off a bunny’s body parts, but it makes this hunk of chocolate totally dippable. Grab a jar of Nutella and start dunking this thing immediately.
5. Reese’s Peanut Butter Egg – White
Finally, we can enjoy the flavor of a Reese’s peanut cup in the shape of an egg that does not look like anything we wouldn’t want to eat.
4.Cadbury Caramel Egg
Not quite as good as a crème egg and almost certain to leave you with caramel covered fingers, but totally worth the trouble.
3. Cadbury Crème Egg
Look, we know some people’s responses to Cadbury eggs are “ew,” “gross,” “this tastes like a creamy bike tire.” But we don’t care. We feel them rotting our teeth. But we don’t care. There is a sort of artificial sweetness to these that is delightful for reasons we don’t understand.
2. Twizzlers Green Apple Easter Grass
A surprise here towards the top of the rankings. Everyone needs to replace that crappy paper grass with candy grass ASAP.
1. Jolly Rancher Jelly Beans
When you put one of every flavor in your mouth they still taste good. How is that possible? But we thank the jelly bean gods for every bag.