By Adam Campbell-Schmitt
June 22, 2017
©whitemay/Linda Steward/Getty Images

The fact that Election Day falls just before the holidays is either a brilliant opportunity for reconciliation or our Founding Fathers’ cruel idea of a prank. While still embroiled in the post-presidential campaign aftermath, Americans now must come together and share a meal, a table, and potentially awkward conversations with friends and family who may or may not have congruent ideologies. Unless your loved ones have mastered small talk, it’s very likely the dinner table will turn into a lively discussion… ok, who are we kidding, a discussion that could splinter family trees and schism social circles for years to come. Or at least put a damper on dessert.

Try as you might to avoid controversial topics, they will find a way to surface. But fear not! There’s a way to refocus almost any mention of partisan rhetoric on what matters most at Thanksgiving: the food. (Are they a bit of a stretch? Sure. But so is calling a house full of 15 relatives a "vacation.") Here are a few of the hot-button issues that might come up, and how you can diffuse them.

Speaking of the electoral college...

...I elect the collard greens be passed my way.

Speaking of voter fraud...

...who's going back for seconds?

Speaking of 'lock her up'...

...Aunt Gail's candied yams are a crime against my waistline.

Speaking of building a wall...

...does anyone else think it's weird that Uncle Gary never lets his food touch?

Speaking of private email servers...

...who's serving the pie? I publicly volunteer myself!

Speaking of appointing the cabinet...

...I nominate we unlock the good bourbon.

Speaking of fake news... this real stuffing or Stove Top?

Speaking of political correctness... you think cranberries prefer the term "relish" or "sauce?"

Speaking of TPP... can't spell "tryptophan" without it! Who's ready for a nap?

Speaking of tax returns...

...has everyone paid their fair share of compliments to the chef?

Speaking of inappropriate grabbing...

...did anyone call dibs on the giblets?

Of course, if none of that works, there's always one more option


Related: How Well Do You Know Your Cranberry Sauce?
How to Not Blow Yourself Up When Frying A Turkey
We Made An Edible Version of Rachel's Trifle From "Friends"