If you thought your weekend was crazy, you may want to take a trip down to Gastonia, North Carolina to get some perspective. According to the Gaston Gazette, a couple got into a fight about at 1 a.m. the night before/morning of the 4th of July holiday and began assaulting each other with pizza rolls.
How does one assault a person with a pizza roll? According to reports, the couple hurled the rolls at each other repeatedly. When the police arrived at about 1:30, 24-year-old Brad Beard and 21-year-old Samantha Canipe were taken into custody. That's right: these innocent, cheesy snacks were actually used as a weapon.
Their charges were the same for both: one count of misdemeanor simple assault. Apparently you can't officially charge someone with a "pizza-related offense", which is too bad, because if you could we'd finally have a way to imprison people for eating their New York slice with a fork and knife. The couple was released on a $2500 bond. Beard may face up to 60 days in jail, while Canipe may face 30.
Although we don't know for sure what caused the fight, how many pizza rolls were thrown, or what brand of pizza roll they were throwing, we do know that Canipe and Beard share an apartment, which must be some life. If mere rolls could result in a call to the police station, it's hard to imagine what the pair would do with a whole pizza pie at their disposal.