Starbucks fans love to talk about the coffee chain’s “secret menu.” Whenever the topic emerges, the company always gives a similar answer: We don’t officially have a secret menu, but our baristas will happily follow whatever instructions you give them when making your drink. At face value, the policy makes a lot of sense: It allows customers to order off menu (which is essentially all a “secret menu” is) without forcing thousands of employees to attend some sort of Starbucks Freemason’s meeting where baristas learn things the general public is never supposed to know. But the policy has a problem as well: If you give customers the freedom to order whatever the hell they want, sometimes customers will… uh… order whatever the hell they want.
Case in point, on the Starbucks section of the social news site Reddit, user Miyomei, identified as a barista, shared a photo of an absolutely insane order someone requested through the brand’s mobile app. Deep breath… Here’s how the ticket from customer “Alice” read: a Venti Iced Double “Grt Lat” (Green Tea Latte?) with 1 pump sugar free Vanilla, 1 pump sugar free Cinnamon Dolce, 1 pump Pumpkin Spice, 2 pumps sugar free Hazelnut, 1 pump sugar free Mocha, 1 pump sugar free Caramel Syrup, Coconut Milk, 6 scoops Matcha powder, Mocha Drizzle, Light Vanilla powder, Light Caramel drizzle, Light Cinnamon powder, Light Nutmeg powder, Add salt topping, Add whip, Light ice and, because ‘tis the season, Pumpkin topping. The beverage was so massive, it actually required two Venti cups.
In the Reddit thread, the most popular comment came from another apparent barista who quips, “This is the recipe for baby vomit.” To which the original poster replied, “It smelled like it.” Disgusting, but at least the drink had a catchy name. Cosmopolitan even went so far to anoint the obvious joke a “new secret Starbucks drink,” meaning baristas around the world may want to take caution when opting to fill mobile app orders while this story is making the rounds.
As for the customer who put in the absurd request, Miyomei stated, “She laughed when she picked them up [remember it’s plural because the one drink took two cups], then actually started to drink it.” Well, one person’s “baby vomit” is another person’s pick-me-up. Who are we to judge?