Not since we ordered our first box of Dunder-Mifflin paper have we been this excited about a product that drew its inspiration from a television show. For anyone who did not watch the first season of The Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt: First of all, borrow someone’s Netflix password and go watch it. Secondly, you probably missed the dance hit of 2015, Peeno Noir by Titus Andromedon.
While it might not be quite as catchy as lyrics like “Peeno noir, you’re a star, listen to Tom Bering-ar,” Titus Burgess, who plays Titus Andromedon, announced his own line of Pinot Noir today. Unlike the song, which is “an ode to black penis,” Titus’ new pinot will be a moderately priced Santa Barbara County red. The wine hasn’t been released yet, so we’ll have to wait and see if it can possibly live up to the bombast of its namesake. But bottles will ship on March 14, so they should arrive in plenty of time for Kimmy Schmidt’s April 15 season premiere.