By Mike Pomranz
Updated August 31, 2015

If you’ve never lamented the lack of a hangover cure, you’ve probably never had a hangover. Science can send a man to the moon, but if that man drinks too much space whiskey, he’ll still end up lying nauseous in some moon crater the next day.

Not to say that scientists aren’t trying to help out with our hangovers; there just might not be much they can do. According to recent research from a group of Dutch and Canadian scientists, the only way to prevent a hangover is to drink less alcohol. Where were you when I ordered that last round of shots?

The findings come after researchers surveyed hundreds of students about their drinking habits and attempts at hangover prevention, such as drinking water and eating food. “Those who took food or water showed a slight statistical improvement in how they felt over those who didn't, but this didn't really translate into a meaningful difference,” said lead researcher Joris Verster from the University of Utrecht in the Netherlands.

In the end, the team’s findings concluded that if you drink more, you get a hangover; if you drink less, you don’t. Outside of that, there was no magic bullet. “In general, we found a pretty straight relationship; the more you drink, the more likely you are to get a hangover,” said Verster. “The majority of those who in fact reported never having a hangover tended to drink less—perhaps less than they themselves thought would lead to a hangover.” Of those whose blood alcohol content reached the relatively high level of 0.2 percent, the scientists said almost no one came out hangover-free.

In possibly the worst news to come out of the research, scientists seemed unconvinced that we may ever see an effective hangover cure because they don’t quite even understand what causes a hangover. “Research has concluded that it's not simply dehydration—we know the immune system is involved, but before we know what causes it, it's very unlikely we'll find an effective cure,” Verster was also quoted as saying. Boy, is that guy a bummer.