By Mike Pomranz
Updated July 21, 2015
Credit: © iStockphoto

Nothing beats an ice cold beer on a hot day, right?

Wrong. New York City’s commissioner of the Department of Health Mary Bassett wants everyone to know that alcohol and caffeine are diuretics that can make dehydration even worse on hot days like the ones the city is currently facing. And sadly, beer specifically got called out as a no-no.

“We’ve heard how important it is to stay hydrated. Avoid alcohol, caffeine. Water is the best beverage for staying hydrated. Beer is not,” Bassett said during a press conference on yesterday. It’s practical advice, but why single out beer? Why not admonish frozen margaritas? They’re the most deceptive because they’re literally made of freezing cold ice!

Mayor Bill de Blasio agreed with Bassett’s statement, though he didn’t go so far as to directly tell his citizens not to drink beer. I mean, he’s gotta try to get re-elected at some point. “Drink plenty of water. It’s the most fundamental message,” the mayor said. “Our mothers told us this many times over—it is true in these circumstances. The body needs a lot of water to stay cool. Keep drinking water, even if you don’t feel particularly thirsty. Just stay very, very hydrated.”

But what if I drink Keystone Light? That’s practically water.