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What goes on in a barista’s brain? Mind-reading technology isn’t quite ready for prime time yet, so to get into coffee slingers’ heads we’ll just have to settle for what they say anonymously on social media.

Whisper is an app that allows you to “anonymously share your thoughts with the world.” Because users are free to speak with impunity, the company claims we can get an inside look at how people really think—including the baristas at our local coffee shops.

In a recent post on Mashable, Whisper offered some of the app’s more intriguing barista confessions. True, anonymity allows us to lie just as easily as it allows us to tell the truth, but deep down, don’t we all want to believe that our barista is a bit crazy? It makes us feel less guilty that we probably don’t tip them as much as we should.

Here’s the sad truth…