By Mike Pomranz
Updated January 19, 2017
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Credit: © Steve Granitz / Getty Images / Amazon

Have you ever been so thirsty you never thought you’d be hydrated again? Maybe you just lived for a fortnight in Death Valley? Or were shipwrecked for a month in the South Pacific? Or drank 3 cases of Busch Light in one sitting? At that point, you’d probably want the most kickass water of all time—like the Chuck Norris of waters?! Well, turns out, the Chuck Norris of waters has been under our noses this entire time… CForce Bottled Water!

CForce – short for Chuck Force – is the only “pure artesian water” sourced “directly from an ancient aquifer deep under Chuck Norris’ ranch.” I didn’t make a single word of that up: It’s literally how the water is described on Amazon. Yup, if you want to get hydrated with the force of a deadly roundhouse kick to the face, you can have a 24-pack of half-liter bottles of Chuck Force Bottled Water sent to you by Amazon right now for just $25.99.

According to the Houston Business Journal, Chuck and his wife Gena, who serves as CEO, founded the company back in 2015 to start bottling water from their ranch about 90 minutes northwest of Houston. The brand has continued to gain momentum and is now expanding domestically and hopefully launching internationally. CForce is currently available in Maverick convenience stores in 10 states, as well as on the aforementioned Amazon, but it’s also set to start selling at Albertsons, Tom Thumb, Randalls, United Supermarkets and H-E-B which will put the only water with Chuck Norris’s name on it in 13 total states.

From there, the next step is global domination. “My husband’s brand is bigger overseas than it is in the U.S.,” Gena Norris told the Business Journal. “Things like (Chuck Norris’ TV show) ‘Walker, Texas Ranger’ are still seen around the world by about a billion people on a daily basis. That’s in about 80 to 85 countries.”

Who says America doesn’t have any great exported products anymore? Walker, Texas Ranger and CForce Water… What more does the world need?

[h/t BevNET]