By Mike Pomranz
Updated May 25, 2016

When Anti-aGin – the anti-aging gin – was released last month, many of us felt conflicted: We want to look eternally youthful, but we aren’t really gin people. Thankfully, our implied prayers have been answered and now a new product is about to hit the market: anti-aging vodka. Wow, the phrase “anti-aging” lost a lot of meaning in 2016.

Anti Everything is a 16 percent ABV alcoholic “beauty drink” concocted by mixing vodka with “super anti-ageing, natural ingredients” including caviar collagen (a hot ingredient in a lot of alcoholic beverages making dubious claims) and sea buckthorn, which supposedly is packed full of vitamin E, lutein, fatty acids and vitamin C. “Countless nights out with my girlfriends went hand in hand with feeling guilty about overindulging,” Anja Skodda, the self-described “beauty conscious biotechnologist with a zest for life” who created Anti Everything, was quoted as saying by The Spirits Business. “I wanted to be freed of that feeling and set out to create a drink that combines science with lifestyle for a non-guilty pleasure.”

I know Anti Everything is supposed to have health benefits, but hearing about the steep price doesn’t make me feel better. A “gift box” featuring four tiny bottles of only about 3.4 ounces each retails for around $55 – meaning that despite only having slightly more booze than a bottle of wine, 750 mL of the elixir costs over $100. Not to mention that I feel like the health benefits of red wine have been more substantially proven.

The bizarre new brand is launching next month with a big bash in Monte Carlo – because if you’re selling a product no one needs, take it to people with money to burn first.