By Mike Pomranz
Updated January 28, 2016

Bars have their own unique customs, culture and lingo. Included in that is the tradition of buying a woman a drink. It typically goes a little something like this: You’re feeling a little frisky (read, tipsy), you see a cutie sitting at the end of the bar, and then you ask the bartender, “I’d like to buy that woman a drink.” For some reason I also imagine you being in your 50s and wearing a sport coat.

But how do bartenders actually feel about this old practice? They’re suddenly thrust into a middleman (or middlewoman) role in your love life. That’s not always a fun or enviable position.

Playboy’s Indulgence YouTube channel decided to speak to their regular cadre of famous bartenders (the same ones who have previously discussed their customer pet peeves, hatred of other bartenders and worst pick-up lines) to get the inside info on how to actually buy a woman a drink properly. Turns out they don’t think it’s as simple as it seems.

Multiple bartenders refer to the whole thing as making them “do your dirty work.” And though it may sound sweet and, as some bartenders hint at, occasionally work, the general consensus is that it can lead to uncomfortable situations for both parties. The better bet, they suggest, is to simply use that other old-fashioned technique: Just go up and say hi.