Josh Friedland’s Eatymology is required reading for anyone who fears being a foodiot. He tackles the political (honey laundering) and the bizarre (nut rage), as well as the downright silly (snackwave fashion, as seen on the dog above). Consider these real, parody-worthy terms:

By F&W Editors
November 23, 2015
Provided by Sourcebooks

Sourdough Hotel: A place of lodging for sourdough-starter live cultures while their owners go on vacation.
Ice Chef: A bartender whose responsibility is to oversee the freezing and cutting of numerous types and shapes of ice tailored for use in cocktails.
Raota:  A Japanese term for people obsessed with ramen noodle soup.
Selmelier: A culinary professional who specializes in salt’s uses in cooking and pairing with food and wine.
Growlette: A 32-ounce beer container that is half the size of a traditional growler.