The real star of baseball concession stands will always be hot dogs.
Right now there’s ballpark food with its own Twitter and Tumbler feeds. The Porkfait—a.k.a. the Pulled Pork Parfait—is a high-rising, layered combo of pulled pork, mashed potatoes and gravy, served ice cream parfait–style. You can find it at Milwaukee Brewers’ Miller Park, or you can follow it at @MillerParkPork (tweets include #braun and ERMAHGERD MAHSHERD PERTERTERS #NationalPotatoDay). (Read it slowly, you’ll get it.)
But no matter how many Twitter followers Porkfait has, the real star of baseball concession stands will always be hot dogs. And like other stadium foods—like the ice cream sundae so big it needs a regulation batting helmet to contain it—it’s gotten more and more over-the-top. Here, some notable dogs to chow down on or to just look at in amazement.
Meat Lover’s Hot Dog; Great American Ballpark, Cincinnati Reds
This super-calorie dog is meat-on-meat-on-meat. It consists of a deep-fried, bacon-wrapped Queen City sausage that’s topped with beef chili and salami that’s fried as well, plus shredded Jack cheese, stuffed into a locally made hoagie roll. “Not for those of you who want to live to see your 50th birthday,” says askmen.com.
Poutine Hot Dog; Comerica Park, Detroit Tigers
Comerica Park unveiled four new hot dogs for the spring opener of the Tigers’ season, including one topped with baked beans and bacon. But the most attention-getting is an ode to Canada’s power french fry snack, poutine. Sure enough, this dog is smothered with fries, gravy and big fat cheese curds. The runner-up: Comerica Park’s Late Night Dog, with cheddar, bacon and a fried egg.
Crab Mac Hot Dog; Camden Yards, Baltimore Orioles
Stuggy’s is a Baltimore favorite for good reason. They offer eight kinds of sausage (beef, bison, turkey, bacon-wrapped, etc.) and 12 styles (such as Maui Wowie, which includes bacon, ham, BBQ sauce and pineapple salsa). The most notable combo must be the Crab Mac. The hot dog is split for maximum surface area, then smothered with mac and cheese, lump crab meat and a few shakes of Old Bay seasoning to pull it all together.
The D-Bat Dog; Chase Field, Arizona Diamondbacks
New this season, the D-Bat is a deep-fried corn dog that’s 18 inches long—the size of a mini baseball bat. It’s stuffed with bacon, jalapeños and cheddar, and with a side of fries, it goes for $25. If that seems like a lot, both calorie- and cash-wise, the Venom dog is a relatively modest foot-long habanero sausage that’s topped with black beans, guacamole, pico de gallo and costs $10.
The Totally Rossome Boomstick; Globe Life Park, Texas Rangers
And then there’s the dog that exceeds the D-Bat in size and price. (Because everything’s bigger in Texas, right?) The two-foot-long, one-pound Totally Rossome Boomstick will set you back $32. It’s topped with smoked brisket, pico de gallo, sour cream and since there seems to be no end in sight for the recent Dorito craze—crushed Doritos.