Any horoscope will tell you what to expect in the future, but how many offer advice on what to drink? The wine astrologer for wineskinny.com offers her enological forecasts for the new year.
aquarius January 20-February 18
Get someone to take your picture: this is a "before" and "after" year for the ever-changing Aquarius. If you start 2000 as a blonde, sipping Sutter Home White Zinfandel, you'll end it as a brunette, gulping Bonny Doon Grenache Village.
pisces February 19-March 20
Wave good-bye to the bad times, mystical Pisces. Everything happened for a reason, and this year you'll find out why: that bumpy journey has made you stronger. Now that you're fortified, pour a Madeira, preferably Blandy's 15-year-old.
aries March 21-April 19
Impatient Aries is learning lessons--money lessons. We're all impressed with your collection of $80 Cabernets, but this year you'll have to join the rest of us as we scour the shelves for such bargains as Ca' del Solo's Big House Red.
taurus April 20-May 20
It's time for typically stubborn and predictable Taurus to do as the David Bowie song advises: "turn and face the strange." In other words, no more Merlot. Get ready to sing a new tune, perhaps over a glass of Famega Vinho Verde.
gemini May 21-June 21
Restlessness, thy name is Gemini. This year isn't just about new wines but about new wines in new places. Backpack in the Rockies with Casa Lapostolle's Chardonnay, or fly to Tokyo with Louis Roederer's nonvintage brut Champagne.
cancer June 22-July 22
No more rearranging the sock drawer for homebody Cancer. You'll be making the scene with a wine like Bodega Norton Malbec, which will show a whole new you. Everyone at the party will say, "Hey! Look who brought a Malbec!"
leo July 23-August 22
Insight and instruction are on the agenda for the usually self-absorbed Leo. This year you have a higher calling. In your new role as wise and insightful teacher, you must explain the inexplicable popularity of fruit-flavored wines.
virgo August 23-September 22
For the methodical and meticulous Virgo, this is a time to relax (whether you want to or not). You need a wine to match your new, easygoing self: nothing that demands swirling or sniffing, just drinking. Try Fontana Candida Frascati.
libra September 23-October 23
Uptight Libra, the time has come to paint outside the lines. Keep a bottle of chilled pink ready at all times. Your creativity is like an unopened Mumm's nonvintage Blanc de Noirs Napa Cuvée. Now you just need to pop the cork.
scorpio October 24-November 21
For the always passionate Scorpio, home is where the heart is, and both may be changing address. May I suggest a wine in a box? Perhaps an Almaden red? It's easy to pack and carry for across town or cross-country move.
sagittarius November 22-December 21
A flamboyant flamenco heart beats beneath Sagittarius's typically buttoned-up exterior this year. Toss that folder of important legal documents, dump that business-dinner Merlot and pour a celebratory Marqués de Cáceres Rioja.
capricorn December 22-January 19
Prudent Capricorn, loosen that white-knuckle grip and let down your hair. This year marks the beginning of your quest for a lighter, more reckless spirit. A Merryvale Sauvignon Blanc will pair quite well with your newly tousled look.