Heat the oil in a large skillet. Add the garlic, ginger and shallot and stir-fry until fragrant, about 15 seconds. Add the reserved tomalley and stir to break it up. Add the salt, sugar, soy sauce, black pepper, crushed red pepper and crab and stir-fry until the crab is evenly coated with the seasonings. Add the water and scallions and cook for 3 minutes. Transfer the crab to a bowl, garnish with the cilantro and serve with lots of napkins.