"Then he just got up and said he had to run, and he ran out and didn’t pay!"

Rebekah Lowin
June 05, 2017

Well, that's it, then. There's really no hope for the rest of us. Because Martha Stewart, queen of all things perfect and lovely, told Town & Country that she has bad dates, too.

Like, really bad.

The 75-year-old domestic maven explained that not only did one particularly awful "second or third date" companion "run out" on her, he even left her with the bill. Lest you forget, this is Martha Stewart we're talking about. Martha. Stewart.

You can go ahead and delete all your dating apps, folks. Chivalry is officially dead.

"I went to the lounge area at Le Bernardin with this guy. He had to go somewhere afterward, and I had to go somewhere after," she explained to the magazine. "It wasn’t a first date, but it was like a second or third date. We each had places to go; he did not ask me to go with him to the second place."

The nerve.

"We had cocktails and a little caviar or something," Stewart said. "Then he just got up and said he had to run, and he ran out and didn’t pay! And I thought that was extremely rude."

Well, gentlemen, if there's one piece of good news (or, er, "good thing," to borrow a phrase) you can glean from this catastrophic event, it's that Stewart is still single—so maybe you should start lining up. Oh, and another good thing: She doesn't care whether her suitors are as well-versed as she is in the art of domesticity.

"It’s more like, how much time do I want to spend with that particular person? How interesting is that person to me?" she said. 

And in case you do get lucky enough to land a date with Stewart and both of you end up hungry, you could always offer her one of her favorite guilty pleasure snacks, which she also opened up to the magazine about.

"It's a spoon of really good organic peanut butter, or a slice of American cheese from my housekeeper’s drawer," she said, as if the rest of the interview wasn't shocking enough. "I steal American slices sometimes—in the plastic, it’s so horrible. But it’s such a good snack."

Stewart also eats "pickled herring as a late-night snack before I go to bed because it’s savory and good." And she really, really likes—wait for it!—liverwurst.

"I love squeezing it out of the tube and just eating calves' liverwurst."

We'd swipe right.