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The fake substance still got them into very real trouble.

June 26, 2017

If you feel like you paid too much for pancakes during last Sunday’s fancy brunch, hey, at least it didn’t cost you $27,000. That’s how much police say two teenagers in the Chicago suburb of Elgin were charging for a kilo of pancake mix they were trying to pass off as cocaine. Throw in some blueberries and you got a deal.

According to police, the pancake mix incident was the fourth and final transaction during a months-long investigation during which the suspects allegedly sold increasingly large amounts of cocaine – or in lieu of that, baking products – to undercover officers. For the final deal, officers had requested to buy a kilogram of the drug at a price of $27,000, but police say what the two suspects “attempted to deliver was determined to be a box of pancake mix wrapped to look like a large quantity of drugs,” according to NBC Chicago. The suspects – one 18-year-old and one 19-year-old – were charged with multiple felonies and are currently being held on $200,000 and $20,000 bond respectively. That kind of money could buy a lot of hotcakes.

The humor in the fact that the final deal contained nothing but pancake mix was not lost on the authorities, who included a pun-filled statement in announcing the arrests. “This complex case involved a mix of many divisions within Elgin PD which is always a recipe for success,” said Chief Jeffrey Swoboda. “On a serious investigation like this, we will never short stack our efforts.”

Puns aside, it’s just good to see officers getting 2.2 pounds of pancake mix off the streets. That stuff can start a lifelong addiction to not making pancakes from scratch. Next thing you know you’re in the freezer section, looking to buy frozen pancakes like someone who doesn’t even know how to work a stovetop. We don’t want to see our kids ending up like that.