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You don't have to be an expert in the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles to know that their love of pizza bordered on obsession. So why not take your pizza recipes from the Turtles themselves? This May, you can buy yourself a TMNT-inspired pizza cookbook. Sure, the turtles' pizza concoctions could get a little, um, out there (you may remember the peanut butter and clams pizza or the chocolate fudge, sardine, chili pepper, and whipped cream pizza). But hey, the more TMNT-ish your pizzas are, the higher the chance Michael Bay will give you a cameo...or something.
Unfortunately, many of the recipes that have been released look surprisingly ordinary, give their source material. The options include a basic, New York-style pepperoni pizza, a ham and pineapple pizza, and a bacon and egg pizza. The most out-there pizza recipe right now is the Deep-Dish Goulash Pizza, which includes macaroni and ground beef. Even that one is still a little too actually-edible for the turtles' taste.
The cookbook, featuring sixty-five Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle-inspired recipes, will include "breakfast pizzas, mini-pizzas, party pizzas, and even dessert pizzas". But then, what do those distinctions matter to a bunch of mutated reptiles who pioneered the jelly bean and sausage pizza? For a supercut of some of the, ahem, idiosyncratic pizzas that Leonardo, Raphael, Donatello, and Michelangelo consumed over the course of the 1987 cartoon, check out this video.
The book will be released on May 9th, but you can pre-order your copy now from Amazon. So get your pizza stone, your pizza cutter, and lots of mozzarella cheese. And of course, cowabunga.