The owner of the trailer – a Little Debbie salesman it turns out, not just a random super fan of frosted and cream filled mini-cakes – left the vehicle in the parking lot of a storage facility. When he returned to retrieve the baked goods gold mine, worth $5,000, he found that it had disappeared.
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Thankfully, the robbed salesman has not been left destitute: Earlier this morning a local news channel reported that the trailer had been found, though details are scant on its exact state. Were the missing cakes recovered along with the trailer? Was the marauding cake pirate caught at the scene of the crime?
Police are hush-hush so far, but we’ll update if any more particulars of the case come to light.
Believe it or not, this almost exact crime has happened before: In 2015, thieves stole 65 cases of Little Debbie peanut butter and caramel cookies, fudge rounds, honey buns, Swiss rolls and oatmeal pies from the back of a van in North Carolina – going so far as to cut through a fence to get to the delicious treats.
The previous year, another man spotted a Little Debbie truck parked outside of a Kroger grocery store in Dallas, full of 100 boxes of snack cakes, and drove off with it, only to be caught an hour later. Only 90 of the 100 boxes, which he managed to sell at a discount before being arrested, were ever recovered.
If there’s one thing we can take away from these incidents, it's that people love cake: Black market cake. Discounted cake. Cake wrapped in plastic and filled with synthetic vanilla cream. Cake is great. But please, people, stop stealing it.