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And when you see how he does it, you'll understand why.

Rebekah Lowin
March 16, 2017

Some cut off the crust. Others refuse to take that end-of-the-loaf piece. And others still just can’t figure out the twisty-tie situation. 

But this? This gives a whole new meaning to the phrase “crazy bread-ruining psychopath.” WHICH IS A PHRASE. This is an affront to humanity. A glitch in the Matrix. An atrocity.

It’s Alasdair Mckay's roommate’s bread-opening technique, and when you see it, you’ll understand. 

“One of my flatmates opens their bread like this,” a presumably shaken Mckay wrote on Twitter, attaching images of a plastic-wrapped loaf of bread, savagely ripped open in the (gasp!) middle. “I don't feel safe anymore.” 

Honestly, Mckay? Neither do we. What’s most concerning about the two images is that each depicts a different loaf of bread — meaning this isn’t a one-time-only, act-of-desperation occurrence. This is a habit.

Twitter users around the world responded with their own share of snide, horrified remarks (“What are they, a raccoon?” asked user @therealrainfall, while others simply urged Mckay to keep one eye open at night). With 16,000 retweets of the time of this article’s publication, we’re pretty sure everyone on Twitter loves bread and hates glitches in the matrix as much as we do.

To soft, delicious, plastic-wrapped bread everywhere: our sincerest apologies. Some men just want to watch the world burn.