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The reason will probably gross you out. 

May 11, 2017

Daily Show Senior Correspondent, and host of the president-less 2017 White House Correspondent’s Dinner, Hasan Minhaj, stopped by GQ to build his perfect sandwich, which he calls the Minhaj à Trois. The honestly mouth watering creation consists of avocado, turkey, and melted pepperjack cheese. Along the way, he talks about the food he absolutely refuses to eat, under any circumstances: ketchup.  

Minhaj recalls that back in the second grade, his fellow student Travis Wilson came to lunch with a bloody nose. Between forkfuls of ketchup drenched French fries and demands for gummy bears, some of the blood dripped into Travis’s mouth, mingling with the ketchup, right in front of child-Hasan, who looked on in horror.

“To this day, I cannot stand ketchup, I cannot be around ketchup,” he explains in the video.

As he constructs his ideal sandwich, Minhaj describes a few more of his eating habits and surprisingly insightful food opinions. Here are the highlights:

  • He appreciates overlooked sandwich accoutrements. “Pepperjack is a cheese that is heavily slept on,” he quips.
  • He doesn’t require fancy condiments. Instead of buying chipotle mayo, he says you can create your own: “A life hack is that you can buy mayo and put Sirarcha in it.” Thanks for the tip!
  • He stresses that “you need to have a really strong relationship with your toaster oven,” in order to master sandwich making.
  • And the key to making the perfect sandwich? Make sure the ingredients are separated into a “hot region and a cold region.”

So there you have it: The right way to eat, according to a comedian.