In terms of back story and behind-the-scenes politicking, the first part of the next sentence will mean almost nothing to Americans, but hang on for the second half and try not to cry: The Great British Bake Off is leaving the BBC for Channel 4, and, in the ensuing kerfuffle, hosts Mel Giedroyc and Sue Perkins have quit the show and Mary Berry and Paul Hollywood's future on the program is uncertain, at best.
"The BBC nurtured the show from its infancy and helped give it its distinctive warmth and charm, growing it from an audience of two million to nearly 15 at its peak," Mel and Sue said in a statement. "We've had the most amazing time on Bake Off, and have loved seeing it rise and rise like a pair of yeasted Latvian baps. We're not going with the dough. We wish all the future bakers every success."
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Deep breath. How could this have happened?