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Plus, Fred Armisen is writing a totally, completely, definitely real cookbook. 

Elisabeth Sherman
December 21, 2017

The ultimate holiday party invite is—and will always be—to Martha Stewart’s house. You can probably guess that the undisputed queen of all things cooking, entertaining, and decorating holds the most lavish, elegant parties, stocked with the absolute best food you can imagine, but Stewart went on the Late Show with Seth Meyers and confirmed our suspicions. She revealed that at the holiday party she hosted at her home this year, there were four hams, and according to her granddaughter 1,001 cookies.

Speaking of Stewart’s granddaughter (whose nickname in the family is “Little Martha”), the fifth grader and her classmates got a surprise visit from the master baker at their school. Ever the gracious host, Stewart baked the gingerbread cookies (gingerbread men, trees, and gnomes to be specific) beforehand, and then brought the proper supplies—including red, green, and white icing—to teach them how to decorate the cookies.

Stewart called the class “very artistic,” although a “little sloppy,” but the mess afterward seems like it was painful to clean up—a situation for which Stewart takes partial responsibility.

“It was my fault because I made the icing a little too thin,” she says, although I refuse to accept that explanation. Instead, I am choosing to believe she is just being self-deprecating because she’s on television—there’s no way she could ever make a mistake let alone one involving icing for cookies.

Stewart goes on to reveal that she tried to plow the snow from her driveway at her farm but had to be rescued and that her favorite liquor to use in holiday cocktails is cachaça, a Brazilian spirit similar to rum, before mixing up some holiday cocktails with the help of bartender Nico de Soto.

Before Martha made her appearance, Meyers had a chance to chat with fellow comedian and drummer for the show’s band, Fred Armisen, about his upcoming cookbook, which is absolutely happening and not something he just made up on the spot, a cookbook which contains just one recipe, and does not have a name.

“I’m cooking with prehistoric amber…There’s a nice flavor to it,” he explains. “You flambe garlic in it, and some oils…and for dessert, you put some cornflakes on it. It’s very expensive because you have to go to a museum, but it’s worth it because it’s the holidays.”

Okay, Fred. We’ll keep our eye out.