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Seriously. It's in his contract.

March 15, 2017

If you're currently in the process of negotiating a job offer, home sale or professional sporting contract, you'll certainly want to get tips from former MLBer Manny Ramirez. 

The once Red Sox outfielder and home run slugger recently signed to play with Japan's Kochi Fighting Dogs (as part of the Skikoku Island League Plus) and the perks of his deal are beyond anything we could have ever imagined. The most glaring (and envy-inducing) observation: Unlimited sushi – any place, any time.

To start, the notoriously flashy athlete is based in the sushi capital of the world. Not only does he get hand rolls and uni at a moment's notice, but he gets inarguably the best hand rolls and uni at a moment's notice. We're not even sure Anthony Bourdain has such authority. 

Additionally, Manny will have use of a Mercedes and personal driver, attending practices will be optional, and he's guaranteed an expensive hotel suite while the team is on the road. That's all well and good but we all know the real perk is the sushi. But now that we think about it, it all makes sense. He can skip human interaction (and physical activity altogether) to binge and he can host elaborate sushi parties (maybe Nyotaimoris?) to bond with fellow players in swanky accommodations. He also gets to slap "Manny" (instead of Ramirez) on the back of his new jersey with a sentimental number 99 (a reminder, we're assume, that he may have 99 problems, but free sushi ain't one).

Video: Sushi on Jones

Needless to say, we're unquestionably jealous and only slightly bitter. Who ever knew that going to culinary school and becoming a chef wasn't the best option in securing a lifetime of free food? We should have taken tee-ball more seriously.