© BuzzFeed Product Labs

And yes, it uses a quiz to recommend the perfect roast.

Mike Pomranz
March 21, 2017

It’s a question websites have been asking themselves since the dawn of the World Wide Web: How the hell are we actually going to make money? Branded products are always a popular answer, so it’s amazing that over a decade after its founding, web giant BuzzFeed has only now followed the wordplay path of least resistance to the idea of selling its own buzz-inducing coffee.

In a partnership between BuzzFeed’s food-focused Tasty and NBC’s Today show, people interested in letting a BuzzFeed-style quiz guide them towards their perfect cup of joe can order semi-customized tins of coffee from the clumsily named Today Food Tasty. Heading to the online shop literally does present users with a quiz that seeks emoji-driven answers to questions like how much caffeine do you like, what’s your preferred fruit, and, importantly, what’s your favorite part of the Today show. From there, coffee buyers can enter their own cheeky name for their blend to create a custom label… something like, as the site suggests, Antonio’s Eye Opener or, for the less inspired, something like Mike’s Coffee.

Once you’ve jumped through all these hoops, you’ll be presented your chosen beans (or grounds). For instance, I was given a single origin selection from the Ethiopia Nura Korate Coop – not a bad choice being that African coffees usually are my preference, so I’ll give them some credit. It’s almost enough to make me rethink the accuracy of every BuzzFeed quiz I have ever taken in the past.

Video: The Most Expensive Cup of Coffee in America

Though a website and a TV show are behind the brand, the coffee itself comes from the reputable, third-wave roaster Brooklyn Roasting Company, meaning the beans themselves might be better than you think. But letting BuzzFeed and the Today show choose your coffee for you isn’t cheap: Each 12-ounce tin costs $19.99 plus $4.99 shipping and handling — a price that certainly isn’t out of line with similar quality products, but is possibly a bit upmarket for the kind of people who think filling out an emoji-flaunting quiz is the most sensible way to buy coffee.

Still, assuming this goes well, I think the next BuzzFeed branded product seems pretty obvious: craft beer. Then after that, what else gets you buzzed? Maybe branded nitrous oxide? (For whipped cream use only obviously.)

[h/t Grub Street]