Sorry, You Won’t Be Able to Eat Vegan Food at Jeffrey Dahmer’s House

By Noah Kaufman |
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GO VEGAN

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The People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals a.k.a. PETA a.k.a. the people that use naked women to promote eating vegan had a great plan: Buy Jeffrey Dahmer’s house and turn it into a vegan restaurant. Late last week, they released a statement saying they wanted to buy the house that went on the market last week for $295,000 and rename it Eat For Life. Oh that doesn’t sound like a great plan to you? Apparently it didn’t sound like a great plan to the people responsible for zoning the property, which is near Akron, Ohio. PETA spokesperson Moira Colley said in a statement that getting the appropriate zoning was “apparently impossible, in part because of issues with the plumbing and waste systems.” She also said that even though they wouldn’t be moving forward, PETA did not believe that the home’s “out-of-the-way location” would have proven to be an impediment to bringing in customers. But it seems like there might have been something else that would have kept people away…what is it?…it’ll probably come to us later. According to Colley, there was apparently a secondary suggestion to turn the place into a vegan bed and breakfast but they decided not to go through with that either. So hungry Akron vegans are out of luck as far as eating at the creepy confines. Hopefully, PETA can find another project. Maybe they can turn John Wayne Gacy’s house into an animal free circus.

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