This Produce Condom Packaging Is a Bit More Specific Than We’d Like

By Noah Kaufman |
FWX PRODUCE SIZED CONDOMS 1

Photo Composite: © Blankstock / Dimitris Stephanides / Lartal / Getty Images

Once upon a time, if you wanted to lie about how well endowed you were to a Walgreen’s employee, your only option was to show up at the register and claim you needed a box of Magnums. But a new set of packaging from a designer in Taiwan would expand those options—you could claim you needed a box of daikon instead.

Those are a couple of the girthier options in Guan-Hao Pan’s Love Guide condom set, which are all sized to various produce items. According to Pan, the choice of fruit and vegetable packaging for his condoms was inspired by a Chinese saying that points out, “sex is one basic characteristic of human nature, as is food and we don’t have to feel embarrassed using it.” With all due respect to Pan, there’s no way anyone could not be embarrassed carrying around a package of condoms that indicates precisely what size their manhood is by comparing it to something from a farmers’ market. Pan’s project actually does try to make an important point, though: People often don’t buy condoms that actually fit. And poorly sized prophylactics don’t do as good a job at preventing pregnancy or STDs.

Even if he is overdoing it a little with the vegetable metaphor, the packaging gives a much clearer idea of what size condom you’re actually getting than anything you can buy right now. The hard part is getting anyone to admit that they’re actually a carrot and not a cucumber.

Check out Pan’s entire lineup of sizes and colors below.

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