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Chris Mah
June 22, 2017

For most, the transition from your twenties to your thirties is accompanied by major changes in everything from career plans to waistlines. Many of these changes are evident in the nature of parties. Here are some differences between the parties we throw in our twenties and our thirties:

Start Time:

20’s: Begin pre-gaming at 10pm, party starts at 11pm, show up “fashionably late” after midnight.

30’s: Appetizers are served at 5:30pm sharp. Make a mental note of anyone who is late and remove them from future invitations.

Who’s Invited:

20’s: High school friends, college friends, colleagues, neighbors, that random girl you met on the train whose name you forgot, anyone who can see your public Facebook profile, and their dates.

30’s: Rich and Tracy, Corey and Amanda, David, Stefania (who you’re secretly trying to set David up with), and Nathan and Lara (but only because you can’t invite Rich and Tracy and not them).

Theme:

20’s: It’s a Luau! Everybody wear grass skirts and edible bikinis!

30’s: It’s Election Night! Everybody wear campaign buttons and conservative, floor length dresses!

What You’re Serving:

20’s: Mainly food that is stored in the freezer, cooked in the microwave, and eaten with ketchup. There must be enough to feed 35-200 people.

30’s: Potluck featuring several gluten-free appetizers, tea-smoked duck, and three different types of kale salad.

Beverage of Choice:

20’s: A keg, the contents of your liquor cabinet, and some mystery blue stuff.

30’s: Riesling and sparkling water.

Entertainment:

20’s: Electro pop music, beer pong, and watching how the romantic drama between Ethan, Drew, and Lisa unfolds.

30’s: Settlers of Catan.

Dessert:

20’s: One of everything on the Taco Bell drive-thru dollar menu at 3am.

30’s: Fat-free lemon sorbet.

Ending Time:

20’s: When the next party starts.

30’s: 8:15pm, or when the first person yawns.

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