France Bans Work Emails After 6 P.M. (Have Any Single French Friends?)

By Justine Sterling |

Life after 6 p.m. in France.

If you’re not a French citizen living in France, marry one and move there. Now more than ever, it’s worth learning a new language and abandoning your friends and family for a reason that goes far beyond access to unpasteurized cheese and apathy toward working out. According to The Guardian, French employers just signed an agreement that requires staffers to switch off their mobile devices and ignore emails after 6 p.m. This agreement is an amendment to an already wonderful law introduced in 1999 that ensures union workers a 35-hour workweek. Seems too good to be true, right? What about the plumbers when your apartment’s flooding? Hospital employees, when you twist your ankle along the Seine? Wine deliverymen? Don’t worry. The agreement just applies to those in the technology and consultancy industries, who shall henceforth be referred to only as “the lucky ones.” That said, if there’s a Google outage in France, it’s probably best to just Ask Jeeves instead. Since it’s in one of the affected industries, the search won’t be fixed until morning.

Related: Kim Kardashian to Preside of European Burger Kingdom
America Fires the First Shot in the Great Cheese War of 2014
16 Surefire Ways to Botch a Job Interview