This Eccentric Lady Claims to Know What to Eat to Lure Aliens

By Noah Kaufman |
FOOD FOR ALIENS FWX

Credit: AnnaSuchkova

Years ago on a highway in rural Pennsylvania at 1:45 in the morning I discovered the radio program Coast to Coast AM. If you’ve never heard it, the show is, in a word, bonkers. Both callers and hosts seem to believe in everything—the illuminati, time travel, mermen—if there is a conspiracy theory out there, they’re into it (apparently mermen control quite a bit of our financial activity from their home base in Atlantis). And my memories of those late night radio broadcasts came flooding back as I discovered Laura Magdalene Eisenhower (granddaughter of a certain United States President). Eisenhower sat down to chat with Vice’s Munchies about the best ways to encounter sky beings. The secret, according to a woman Munchies calls “a medical astrologist, global alchemist and cosmic mythologist,” is a vegetarian diet. Rather convenient considering she used to run an organic food shipping business.

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“When we eat veggies, we are lighter, so we can connect easier with higher beings,” Eisenhower said. She is specifically a fan of cabbage and kombucha, to keep her immune system in “high vibration.”

All this should be good news for anyone on a raw diet—not only are you getting all those toxins out of your body, you’re also greatly increasing your chances of meeting an extraterrestrial.

So remember everyone, the truth is out there—and it probably comes with a CSA membership.

[h/t Munchies]

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