The NFL season kicks off on Thursday with the Packers and Seahawks and that means fantasy drafts are going on…possibly right now. Amid the pizza-and-beer–fueled marathon session in which small groups of judgmental fans figure out which players they’re supposed to care about for the next four months, you always see these same people.
The Absentee Drafter
Inevitably, there is someone in the league who lives at least 300 miles away and for some reason this person has never been able to correctly operate a webcam and is doing this all on speakerphone. After the fifth time of telling him Peyton Manning has already been picked, you should probably just hang up.