6 Reasons Why Poseidon Rex is the Only Movie Worth Seeing this Weekend

By Justine Sterling |
Tagged:

This weekend at the box office, there’s Bears for the kids (mostly because kids love the narration by John C. Reilly) and Transcendence for fans of Johnny Depp’s face on a computer screen, but there’s no blockbuster the whole family can enjoy. Or is there? At first glance Poseidon Rex, a movie about a Tyrannosaurus rex awakened from its undersea slumbers, may not seem like the best option. But we assure you, it absolutely is. Here’s why:

1. The central plot of the movie revolves around a swimming, chomping, CGI T. rex.
Appeals to: Boys 5 to 14 years old, men who still act like they are 5 to 14 and paleontology buffs who love arguing about why fictional dinosaur–based plots could never happen in real life and haven’t had anything to talk about since Jurassic Park III.

2. Brian Krause stars as treasure hunter Jackson Slate.
Charmed
fans will remember him as the Whitelighter Leo Wyatt who married Piper Halliwell (Holly Marie Combs) in the show.
Appeals to: 22- to 30-year-old women who grew up totally crushing on the hunky, magical do-gooder.

3. Hot babe Anne McDaniels stars alongside Krause as Sarah, a sexy marine biologist.
Appeals to: Hot babe enthusiasts of all ages.

4. The heroes of the movie disturb the T. rex while searching underwater for ancient Mayan treasure.
Appeals to: First–year history majors, amateur treasure hunters and lovers of gold.

5. As far as we can tell from the trailer, there is a point in the movie in which a group of partying teens get eaten by the T. rex.
Appeals to: Old people who wish annoying youths like the partying teens would stop all their necking and loitering.

6. Since it’s in the trailer, it’s not a spoiler to say that the T. rex turns out to be a mama T. rex. Cue adorable CGI baby dino!
Appeals to: Everyone with a pulse.

Related: Aziz Ansari's New Food Show Scored him the Hardest Reservation in LA
This Movie About General Tso Will Change Everything You Think You Know About Chinese Food
6 Dauntless Chocolate Cakes to Make for the Divergent Premiere

MORE FROM THE INTERWEBS
Comments