This weekend Americans from all walks of life will commemorate the 238th anniversary of the adoption of the Declaration of Independence by exercising one of the inalienable rights laid out in that hallowed document: the pursuit of happiness. For many, this will involve the consumption of large quantities of adult beverages.
And while I strongly caution against drinking to excess, I understand that in many cases such counsel will fall upon deaf ears. (Yes, I’m talking to you!) For the sake of argument, we’re going to ignore the fact that there are common-sense steps for preventing a hangover from occurring in the first place, such as avoiding brown liquors and sweet booze, downing a glass of water after every other alcoholic beverage, eating greasy food prior to drinking (to slow down the rate of alcohol absorption) and—yawn—moderation.
For the sake of reality, we’re also going to acknowledge that when strong drink is involved, you using hangover-prevention measures is about as likely as you remembering the Bill of Rights in order. So assuming the Fourth’s festivities leave you with a stomach that feels like the bathrooms in Grand Central station, here are some hard-earned, lab-tested solutions for curing what ails you: