10 Best Lyrics from Weird Al’s Food Songs

By Noah Kaufman |
FWX WEIRD AL

Everett Collection Inc

After a three-year hiatus, Weird Al returned this week, seemingly from nowhere, to release what may be his final full album, Mandatory Fun. Leading up to the launch, he’s putting out a new video every day and clips have already taken on irritating Instagram behavior and the disastrous way we use the English language.

Though Weird Al has an epic body of work, The Food Album, released in 1993, was ahead of its time and our collective food obsession. At 11, we knew the words to his songs better than the words to the songs they were based on. Here, some of our favorite lines. 

“Fat”

The video is what always made this one great to us. There is something timelessly hilarious about watching a man with a perm dance around in a fat suit.

“When you’re only having seconds/I’m having twenty-thirds/When I go to get my shoes shined/I gotta take their word.”


“Lasagna”

We’ll be the first to say that “Lasagna” doesn’t have the best lyrics on the album, but the accordion work is great.

“Have-a more ravioli/you get roly-poly/A-nice and a-big like you cousin Luigi.”


“Addicted to Spuds”

Who knew the simple potato could be so exciting?

“You planned a trip to Idaho/Just to watch potatoes grow/I understand how you must feel/I can’t deny they’ve got appeal.”


“My Bologna”

His ability to pack this many words about bologna into two minutes still impresses us to this day.

“Never gonna stop, eat it up/such a tasty snack I always eat too much, then throw up.”


“The White Stuff”

This song made us demand that our parents only put Oreos in our lunch from 1993 to 1996.

“Ate ’em up real fast/You can see ’em in my teeth/Tell it when I talk/Had so many my pancreas just went into shock.”


“Taco Grande”

We didn’t know what margaritas were when this song came out, but we definitely wanted them.

“I eat uno, dos, tres, quatro burritos/Pretty soon I can’t fit in my Speedos.”


“I Love Rocky Road”

By the time we had listened to this point in the album, it started to dawn on us that Weird Al had a bit of an eating problem.

“When I’m all alone I just grab myself a cone/And if I get fat and lose my teeth that’s fine with me/Just lock me in the freezer and throw away the key.”


“Theme from Rocky XIII”

We actually like this one better than the original.

“It’s the rye or the kaiser, it’s the thrill of one bite/Let me please be your catering advisor/If you want substitutions I won’t put up a fight/You can have the roast beef on the rye…or the kaiser.”


“Eat It”

Lyrically, this is definitely the better of the two Michael Jackson songs on the album.

“Have some more yogurt, have some more Spam/It doesn’t matter if it’s fresh or canned.”


“Spam”

As evidenced by this last song, Weird Al clearly has a soft spot for potted meat.

“Now if there’s some left, don’t just throw it out/Use it for spackle or bathroom grout.”

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