This Week in Food News: NSFW Beer, Froot Loops-Topped Hot Dogs and the Acceptable Way to Have Beer for Breakfast

By Justine Sterling |
KTICHEN TRASH BEER MARMALADE FWX

Courtesy of Innis & Gunn

The Internet is a black hole for strange, weird and wonderful things—especially when it comes to food. Rather than dive in yourself, let FWx do it for you. Here, five of the most absurd food items we saw this week. 

Cream Cheese Teriyaki Burger: We’re pretty lax when it comes to burger toppings. We’ll drizzle on hollandaise, slap deep-fried caprese salad or even pile on poutine. But cream cheese? That’s going too far. MOS Burger in Japan recently added the Cream Cheese Teriyaki Burger to their menu, which combines sweet-savory teriyaki sauce with a generous slathering of tangy cream cheese. [Eataku]

Related: WE DON’T WANT TO LIVE IN A WORLD WITHOUT SUSHI BURGERS IN IT

Froot Loops Hot Dog: Some people will get hot under the collar if you just talk about putting ketchup on a hot dog. Well, okay, what about breakfast cereal? The Cleveland Indians’ Progressive Field is home to the Slider Dog, a hot dog topped with bacon, mac and cheese and, yes, Froot Loops. Want to find one? Take Toucan Sam’s advice and just follow your nose, it always knows! [Popsugar]

Vagina Beer: Before we accept that this actually exists, let’s keep in mind that it is April Fools’ Day. But reports are coming in about a beer made with vaginal bacteria. Bottled Instinct (is that really the best they could come up with?) is made with lactic acid bacteria taken from someone’s or multiple someones’ lady parts, mixed with water, malt, hops, wood chips and yeast. According to the creators, the beer (which, again, may or may not be real) has no “vaginal smell or taste” but is flavored with “instincts.” Whatever that means. [Metro]

Texas Chainsaw Massacre, the Restaurant: Horror fans will soon get to sate their hunger and bloodlust at the Texas Chainsaw Massacre Gas Station, an upcoming “horror barbecue resort” in Bastrop, Texas. Set in the gas station that was actually used as the set for the BBQ restaurant run by cannibal cook Drayton Sawyer in the movie, the TCM Gas Station will not only serve as a non-cannibalistic eatery, but also offer cabins for guests to stay the night and a horror museum. [Easter Austin]

Beer Marmalade: Instead of just pounding a couple beers in the morning, try spreading some on toast for a more balanced breakfast. Scottish brewery Innis & Gunn is now making the world’s first IPA marmalade called Marm & Ale. If that’s not boozy enough for you, the brewery is making a companion marmalade-infused IPA. [The Drinks Business

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