Penis Gummies Terrorize New Zealand

By Noah Kaufman |
FWX PENIS GUMMIES

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The latest food scandal exported from China isn’t tainted meat or gutter oil at Starbucks; it’s penis candy. Four weeks ago in New Zealand, shoppers began to discover small gummy phalluses mixed in with their usual mix of non-penile gummy shapes. Dutch Rusk, the candy's New Zealand distributor, said the problem likely arose (sorry) because of differing cultural attitudes toward penis candy. In China, says managing director William Van de Geest, phallic candy is seen as a symbol of fertility and health, whereas Western cultures see it as something that belongs at a bachelorette party. So it seems the Chinese manufacturer simply didn’t suspect anyone would complain. “They wouldn’t even blink an eyelid,” said Van de Geest. “We don’t mind a hand or foot being part of a lolly, but we object to a breast or penis.”

Dutch Rusk has since recalled all the bags of candy that might contain the offending shapes and has promised to provide anyone who mistakenly bought one of those bags with new, more modest gummies. Now if any Kiwis want penis candy, they’ll have to get it the old fashioned way: by making it out of gumdrops and gummy worms.  

Related: Ultimate Candy Guide 
Will It Sear? Gummy Bear Armegeddon 
These Homemade Gummy Bears Will Blow Your Mind 

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