When is the last time your fortune cookie ever said something accurate, foretelling or even grammatically correct? Never, that's when.
To remedy the only redeeming part of a post-General Tso's chicken binge, German-based Pechkeks will be bringing their line of Misfortune Cookies to the US and Canada. The black cookies are filled with a bit of dark humor, similar to this Cards Against Humanity and Ok Cookie Co. promotion we enjoyed last fall.
Featuring over a thousand hilariously pessimistic and sarcastic messages, the carbon-dyed cookies have been a hit in Europe and Australia since 2013. The goal, according to their website, is to take these edible "crude, truthful and direct glimpse[s] into the future" with a "sense of humor." They're also the perfect gift for that person who "start[s] talking about skin cancer as soon as the first ray of spring sunshine peeks through the black clouds."
Some examples include:
• "Life is a symphony – and you're playing the kazoo."
• "At least I believe in you. Me, a piece of paper."
• "Things will get better. Sometimes. Maybe."
Andreas Pohl, the company's CEO and founder, tells Confectionery News that the product will only retail in "cool shops" and "better chains."
"It's important that we're not a cheap product," he said of the brand, which only sources local German ingredients.
And what do the black, cynical cookies taste like? "Similar to normal fortune cookies, but maybe a little bit better ...We produce every two months, so we have fresh cookies in stock," said Pohl.
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Currently, the cookies retail at up to $1.58 per individual treat or $13.72 for a box of 13. But can you really put a price on laughter combined with the overwhelming sense that the world is about to end? No, no you can't.