Big name food brands have become obsessed with parading out an ever-changing lineup of flavors and varieties of their products. Whereas decades ago, the strategy seemed to be to make a good product consistently to get people to buy it, nowadays, the plan seems to be to tweak an established product endlessly to get people to just try it. So now we have a situation in which the varieties of Oreo or Mountain Dew or Doritos on the market may change at any given time. Meanwhile, the problem becomes that, as a consumer, if you find a variety of Oreos, Mountain Dew or Doritos you like, it vanishes as quickly as it came, leaving you screwed.
Lay’s believes it has the answer. Obviously, just like all the product makers listed above, the potato chip brand is guilt of this never-ending-varieties practice – and likewise has left some unhappy customers in its wake over the years. So it has created “Lay’s Flavor All-Stars,” a chance to “to open the flavor vault” and “bring back” previously retired flavors “for everyone to share and enjoy.”
Related: EVERY FLAVOR OF KETTLE CHIPS RANKED
To get this All-Star program rolling, Lay’s is reintroducing Smoked Gouda & Chive, Chicken & Waffles and Wavy Truffle Fries – flavors that had previous been launched as parts of different programs such as Lay’s “Flavor Swap” where flavors were paired up so customers could vote in a gladiator-like showdown and “Do Us a Flavor” where chip fans were asked to dream up their own creations.
But if Wavy Truffle Fries were your jam and you think this is the end of all your flavor worries, I’ve got bad news for you: These All-Stars will only be back for a limited time: from today until November 14.
Sadly, Lay’s apparently doesn’t understand how all-stars work. If you have LeBron James on your team, you don’t trot him out for six weeks of the season and then tell him to ride the bench for the rest of the year so fans can longingly remember how good things were when he was actually playing, quietly waiting with anticipation for the next random time you put your all-star on the court. No, you put him out there every single day because no one is winning anything with Sour Cream & Onion!