Though Yale students might think otherwise, Harvard students are some of the brightest minds this country has to offer. (Meanwhile, Dartmouth students will drunkenly tell you both schools are overrated as you roll your eyes.) Being the smarties that they are, Harvard attendees know to be prepared when trouble looms ahead, especially when that trouble can affect your very survival. So with dining hall staff set to strike tomorrow, students have begun stockpiling one very important commodity: food.
After what student paper The Harvard Crimson described as “three months of stagnant contract negotiations with the University’s bargaining team on issues of health benefits and wage increases,” the Harvard University Dining workers union announced plans to strike back in September. It’s given students ample time to figure out how they will sort out that little detail known as eating. The paper’s blog even published a survival guide providing both humor-tinged but also somewhat serious suggestions like “forage for provisions in advance” and “scrutinize club emails for beacons like ‘free Felipe’s.’”
Though those ideas are obviously a bit cheeky, The Washington Post reports that there’s some truth behind them. “Backpacks are stuffed with apples and plates are stacked with brownies,” The Post writes. “Smuggled-in Tupperware bowls, slyly hidden beneath the table, are being filled with hot food from the cafeteria buffet. Mini fridges are overflowing.” Reportedly, the strike will be the first in Harvard history: a learning experience indeed.
Of course, Harvard administrators aren’t dummies either, and some are saying the Ivy League university has a plan: It’s stockpiling frozen food. “Harvard does order some frozen foods on occasion, but nothing like this,” a food services worker was quoted as saying. This could be a great opportunity for a research experiment: What happens to people’s IQ when they are forced to live on nothing but fish sticks?