Giving up waffles, fries, chocolate or beer? We love America as much as the next patriotic sports fan who is probably skipping work to watch the US-Belgium match today, though our loyalty to beer and chocolate may trump our national pride. But if you’re like us, you need something to boycott. How else will anyone know how much you hate Belgium? Our solution: We’re saying hell no to endives—specifically Belgian endives. Or as Waffle House would call them, Belgium endives.
They’re bitter, they’re small, they’re always trying to take the place of red-blooded American salad ingredients. Who needs them? Not us. That’s why today we’re staying far away from all these endive ideas.**
Gin-braised endives? Looks like a certain ingredient has been drinking on the job.
We say let them burn to a crisp.
Not even avocado can save you, you despicable, fiber-rich loser.
Oh, the endive thinks it’s going to sneak in with the grapefruit and we won’t notice? Wrong. Go back to Flanders.
This recipe is only one step. That’s so boring. Come on endives, try a little harder.
Fact: This dish is also delicious without the endives.
Did you know that Belgium doesn’t currently have an elected head of government? It’s true. How could the endive want to be associated with a rudderless ship like that?
**Tomorrow please resume eating endives. We enjoy their bite and they make a great addition to many salads and side dishes. Plus, the Belgians are actually pretty nice.