7 Classic Stoner Foods to Make at Home

By Noah Kaufman |

© Dan Whalen /the food in my Beard

Happy 4/20, everyone. It is the biggest day on the calendar of marijuana enthusiasts—some of them are even trying to make it a national holiday. It's also the only day of the year when it seems appropriate to indulge in some rather questionable food. But if you’re like us, you don’t just want to blow through the Taco Bell drive-thru; you want to feel accomplished. So here, seven quintessential stoner foods you can prepare at home. You might want to get started on them now. Who knows what kind of shape you’ll be in in a few hours?

1. Cool Ranch Doritos Locos Tacos

Here’s a terrifying statistic: The first year Taco Bell came out with Doritos Locos Tacos, they sold 1 billion of them. They reign supreme in the world of stoner food, and thankfully they aren’t even that hard to make.

© Jasmin Fine of 1 Fine Cookie

2. Funyuns

Once upon a time, before culinary mash-ups and food trucks could satisfy whatever odd cravings people might have after smoking, stoner food began and ended with Funyuns. So here’s a 4/20 throwback recipe.

3. Goldfish Crackers

The basic rule of thumb with stoner food is: If you liked it when you were 6, you’ll like it when you are stoned. Casey Barber author of Classic Snacks Made from Scratch: 70 Homemade Versions of Your Favorite Brand-Name Treats, has tons more snacks like these, including Oatmeal Creme Pies and Cheez-Its.

4. Hot Pockets

A deliciously upscale version of the late-night snack you’d make in the common kitchen on Saturdays during college.

5. Totino’s Pizza Rolls

Some people might consider it sacrilege if pizza rolls don’t come from the freezer on 4/20. We are not those people. This crunchy, gooey recipe from Back to Her Roots makes almost 50 pizza rolls, which should last you at least half an hour.

6. Quesalupa

You didn’t think Taco Bell could end up on this list only once, did you? The quesalupa hasn’t even spread nationwide yet, but it is already growing into a fast food legend. The Poor Couple’s Food Guide has already broken down how to make one at home.

7. Combos

Combos are one of the most underappreciated stoner snacks. Actually, Combos are one of the most underappreciated snacks regardless of your state of mind. And Dan from The Food in My Beard even picked the best flavor (pepperoni pizza) for his recipe.

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