Here’s What Your Barista Really Thinks About

By Mike Pomranz |
FWX STARBUCKS CONFESSIONS

© Newscast / Alamy

What goes on in a barista’s brain? Mind-reading technology isn’t quite ready for prime time yet, so to get into coffee slingers’ heads we’ll just have to settle for what they say anonymously on social media.

Whisper is an app that allows you to “anonymously share your thoughts with the world.” Because users are free to speak with impunity, the company claims we can get an inside look at how people really think—including the baristas at our local coffee shops.

In a recent post on Mashable, Whisper offered some of the app’s more intriguing barista confessions. True, anonymity allows us to lie just as easily as it allows us to tell the truth, but deep down, don’t we all want to believe that our barista is a bit crazy? It makes us feel less guilty that we probably don’t tip them as much as we should.

Here’s the sad truth…

I'm a barista and if you say, "I like a little coffee in my cream" I automatically hate you.

I'm a barista. I don't trust anyone who doesn't want whipped cream on top of their drink.

I'm a Starbucks barista and I aboslutely hate the taste of our coffee.

I'm a Starbucks barista. We're not supposed to make drinks for ourselves... But I do that all day long.

I'm a Starbucks barista & I absolutely HATE IT when someone orders extra caramel. It's time consuming and it fucking hurts my wrists.

I've been a barista for 2 years, when people ask for 'skinny' I still use full cream milk.. Nobody has complained

I'm a barista at Starbucks and I want to write my number on people's cups but I'm too nervous.

As a barista, I flirt with everyone to make good tips.

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