These are good days for beer lovers. With more than 3,500 breweries operating across the country, it seems like every major city has at least a handful of bars dedicated to frothy suds. Now that you’ve decided to take the next step and open your own beer bar, here are some tips to help your watering hole stay afloat.
1. Names matter. Choose a name that is some combination of two unrelated nouns joined by an ampersand. One of the nouns should be an animal. For instance, The Blister & Hippo. Alternatively, your new bar name could be any combination of The followed by an adjective and the word Fiddler.
2. Your bartenders must all have facial hair, even the female ones. If facial hair is not an option, then they must instead have gauge piercings in each ear so large you could throw a softball through them. All staff members should be trained to roll their eyes condescendingly if anyone orders a Heineken.