As predicted this past weekend, NASA made their big #MarsAnnouncement today: They have indeed found liquid water on the surface of Mars. This could mean a flood of new ideas and information about our solar system on topics like Mars colonies, the origins of Earth and the possibility of extraterrestrial life. And sure, those are cool, but let's talk about what’s really important: how we're going to exploit that sweet, sweet Mars Water.
Bottled Mars Water
Like Fiji, Evian and Poland Springs, NY, the fact that Mars Water comes from somewhere exotic and distant must make it superior regardless of how it tastes. Get ready to shell out your cash for transparent red glass bottles of "Marstisian" water at hotel minibars and airport Hudson News stands everywhere.
Mars Water Cold Brew
Just as cold brew made mass-produced iced coffee spit-take-worthy garbage liquid, Mars Water Cold Brew promises to seep into the craft coffee industry like hot water through a bleach-free, organic, sustainable bamboo fiber pourover filter. The rustic flavor of… rust will give the coffee a not earthy, but Marsy note. And of course, it's cold brewed and from space, so the $16 price point for a small cup is totally worth it.