6 Guys You Should Never Give Your Number to at a Coffee Shop

By Clara Olshansky |
COFFEE DATE

© James Kerr

Sometimes kicking a guy out of your dating pool is as easy as listening to their morning coffee order. These are the people to avoid.

1.The Red-Eye Guy

Red-Eye Guy is clearly a very busy man. He probably cut you in line while talking on his Bluetooth saying something like, “I don't have time for this." He definitely doesn't have time for you.

2.The Earl Grey Tea with Simple Syrup Guy

If he really liked Earl Grey, he'd know to take it either black or with milk and honey. He just likes the sound of the words "Earl Grey with simple syrup." He thinks it makes him look cool. He will also probably make you listen to him recite Wordsworth and ask you what you think of W.E.B. Doo­bwah. He also won't shut up about the smell of old books, even though he reads everything on his Kindle.

3.The “Do you have a cortado? No? How about a flat white? Oh fine, just give me a macchiato" Guy

This guy studied abroad in Barcelona. Or Brisbane. He can’t remember, there’s just so much culture in the world. Either way, you won't hear the end of it. He's sophisticated and needs you to know that. He is also easily identified as “asking for a key to the loo” guy.

4.The Doppio Guy

Doppio is a double whammy. Like Red-Eye Guy, he does not have time for you; but like cortado guy, he fancies himself a sophisticate. He won't ask for a double shot of espresso because that would be banal, and even if he did he wouldn’t hang around to drink it because that would be inefficient. Doppio's idea of a date is a half-hour lunch (followed by a quickie because he’s a romantic).

5.The Espresso and a Cup of Ice Guy

He's going to put the espresso in the ice and fill the remaining space with milk, because he's too cheap for an iced latte. Do not go out to dinner with him unless you really like picking up the check.

6.The guy who orders a “Mélange à Trois”

No. You're not clever, and you're not suave. Go home, Mélange.

Related: 5 People You See at Every Beer Festival
11 People You Always See When You Throw a BBQ
How to Make Your Own Latte Art at Home

MORE FROM THE INTERWEBS
Comments