© Rob Wilkinson / Alamy Stock Photo
Adam Campbell-Schmitt
June 22, 2017

Sure, Valentine's Day can be written off as another greeting card holiday with no real meaning. But anyone in a relationship knows that setting aside a special day to focus on your love life can be beneficial for any long-term couple. Around this time of year, we're inundated with lists of foods that people claim will spice things up in the bedroom. That's great, but you don't want to counteract those foods' sensuous effects by accidentally pairing them with something that's sexually suppressive. That's why, in honor of February 14, we've compiled this list of 14 food that are definitely not aphrodisiacs.

1. Bean Dip

Nothing will spoil the mood more than a thick paste of the "musical fruit."

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2. Spaghetti-Os

There's nothing sexy about childhood nostalgia.

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3. Room-Temperature Pizza

Even a lukewarm slice won't heat things up.

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4. Day-Old Bagels

Watching each other gnaw on these will make you and your partner say "nah."

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5. Freezer-Burned Ice Cream 

You'll only look desperate hacking away at a rock-hard pint of vanilla.

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6. Oatmeal 

Hot, thick and steamy in all the wrong ways.

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7. Stale Froot Loops

You'll get no extra lovin' from extra-crunchy cereal.

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8. Cheese Curds

There's no erotic way to feed your partner a fistful of cold, clammy nuggets.

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9. Kale Chips 

Even bedroom eyes can't overcome green flecks in your teeth.

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10. Cold Toast 

All the sensuality of cardboard.

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11. Wet Crackers 

All the sensuality of wet cardboard.

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12. Baby Corn

Sorry, but size matters.

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13. Store-Brand Ketchup

Not springing for Heinz is a sure sign this isn't a special night.

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14. Turkey Jerky

The name alone is enough to make you go limp.

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Now you know what won't work to your libido's benefit. But if you are looking to cook up a little romance this Valentine's Day, here are 5 simple dishes that will definitely put your lover in the mood.

Related: The 4 Anti-Valentine's Day Shots to Drink Now
11 Things You Probably Shouldn't Ask the Butterball Hotline
Food Predictions That Probably Won't Come True in 2016

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