Wine, the Ultimate Health Food

Yeah, it cures cancer, fixes your heart, and keeps you thinking straight (lowers the risk of Alzheimer's, apparently). But the word is that wine also helps prevent tooth decay, gum disease and sore throats, according to this news flash from the Daily Mail. Or so claims an Italian researcher, Professor Gabriella Gazzani. I have a few questions about Dr. Gazzani's methodology though. First,  during the study, the good prof's team apparently tested wine's antibacterial qualities by pouring supermarket Valpolicella into bowls of bacteria. Now, outside of the ick-factor of your basic bowl-o-bacteria, it's hardly news that supermarket Valpolicella will kill almost anything you pour it on. Bacteria, feh. You could pour that stuff on Cujo and stop him dead in his tracks. Second, what kind of scientist wraps things up with the comment, "And we should still brush and floss our teeth the accepted way." Thanks, Dr. G—silly me, I'd been planning on skipping the Crest and plunging my toothbrush into a bottle of Zinfandel this evening. Third, and perhaps most crucially, who's the blonde in the photo accompanying the story? If that's the erstwhile Professor Gazzani, then I know a number of single winemakers who are already making plans to move to Italy.