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My hands are literally shaking as I type this, either from anticipation of the summer’s most important premier or, more likely, from the giant Mountain Dew-flavored Big Gulp—sorry, Squishee—I just sucked down on my way back from Kwik-E-Mart (née 7-Eleven). To promote the launch of The Simpsons Movie, 7-Eleven transformed a dozen of its stores (including one near the F&W office) into ersatz Kwik-E-Marts, where giant cardboard Simpsons characters directed me to limited releases of junk foods inspired by the cartoon, including Buzz Cola, KrustyO’s, Squishees (flavors include “Blue Woo-Hoo!”) and hot-pink Sprinklicious doughnuts. In all honesty, I made the trip hoping to finally—finally!—try a swig of Duff Beer, but sadly none was made, for obvious reasons. I settled for a Squishee.
I recently argued, for much longer than necessary, that The Simpsons is the all-time ultimate food-lover’s TV show. Instead of making my 5,000-word case here, I’ll direct you to a couple of blogs that agree, here and here. But my favorite Simpsons food moment isn’t listed in either post. It comes at the end of the episode titled “Guess Who's Coming to Criticize Dinner?” in which Homer briefly becomes a restaurant critic:
Homer: OK, what restaurant did we review?
Lisa: Well, we went to Pâte LaBelle last week, how about that?
Homer: Great, now let me think. The food was ... [Homer tastes his food-stained shirt to remind himself of the restaurant] ... was not un-delicious.
Lisa: [typing] The food is delicious.
Homer: Ooh! That's brilliant! And they had this sweet, sweet chocolate mousse. Really, the only word to describe it is [drools lustily].
Lisa: Hmm. What's the English equivalent for [imitates Homer]? I'd say...transcendent.
Homer: How about groin-grabbingly transcendent?
Lisa: Uh...I don't think so.
Homer: We make a good team. A groin-grabbingly good team!